QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.”
― Lilly Collins
IDEA OF THE DAY
“Hey friend, how’s it going?”
“Well…I’m having a tomato soup kind of day”
“Ok, I’m on my way over!”
This was a message I had recently received from one of my best friends- and we both knew it was code for “I’m not doing so well and could use some help.” A few years back, we were on a lunch date and we discussed how easy it was to give to others, but how challenging it was to reach out and ask for help in our own struggles. At the time, we were eating very delicious bowls of tomato soup. We came up with the idea that rather than asking each other directly for help (which was a challenge), we could create a silly code word that let the other person know we were struggling and could use some support.
Hence, “Tomato soup” was born.
Now, whenever I’m in a tough spot, I let my friend know I’m having a tomato soup moment; and we make it a priority to be there for each other. It’s not a direct approach, but it sure is a start…and it works.
If you are the type of person who finds comfort in the giving end of a relationship but feels discomfort on the receiving end of help, you’re not alone. AND…here are a few ideas that may help.
1. Consider creating a code word with a close friend, and see how that may help with bridging the gap in feeling pain and being able to reach out and ask for help.
2. Think of all the times when you’ve been able to give in a meaningful way and how that made you feel. That feeling is what others may feel when they can help you, and you are creating an opportunity for someone to step up in beautiful ways when being there for you.
3. Get curious about WHY it feels uncomfortable to receive. Is it that you don’t feel worthy? That you don’t want to be a burden to others? That it’s easier to muscle through challenges on your own? Take a look at the deeper elements at play, and ask yourself how beneficial it’s been to hold onto these thoughts. Have they gotten you what you wanted? Or are there perhaps some golden opportunities to try something new?
4. If all else fails, have a bowl of tomato soup.
Let’s be brave and give it a try!
QUESTION OF THE DAY
If you struggle with asking for help, what’s one thing that could make reaching out slightly easier?
If you are able to reach out with ease, what’s one piece of advice you’d share with those that struggle to do so?