QUOTE OF THE DAY
“Every meaningful conversation is made up of countless small choices. There are fleeting moments when the right question, or a vulnerable admission, or an empathetic word can completely change a dialogue.”
Charles Duhigg, Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection
IDEA OF THE DAY
Recently at my local library, I was pleasantly surprised to bump into the book ‘Supercommunicators’, which focuses on meaningful ways to communicate and connect with others. I was drawn to the book because I feel that the root of many challenges that we face in our lives and our society has to do with a communication breakdown; not knowing how to listen, getting too triggered to have a meaningful conversation, or being so set in our stance there is no room for communication at all.
I was determined to read the book, learn the tools, and then put it into practice.
The reading was easy. Learning the tools not so hard. Putting it into practice….ummmm…well…..
With anything new we try, it’s bound to be kinda clunky. And so I’m going to share a brief experience to give an example of how I put ‘Supercommunicator’s’ to work.
Upon finishing the book, I contemplated where in my life I needed to have a difficult yet meaningful conversation, and how I might have avoided having it. Within moments, I knew of a situation where my avoiding the conversation was harming a friendship. And rather than following an old pattern of shutting down, I knew that I wanted to work on the friendship and resolve some of the communication breakdowns that had been happening.
So I met with my friends and after getting settled, started with “This is probably going to come out clunky, but there are a few things I wanted to share and get your perspective on…” and went from there. The communication WAS clunky, and at times, really hard to navigate. However, by being vulnerable and open, I was able to share my struggles, and in turn, I was able to hear their perspective and gain a deeper understanding of where we could work together on our friendship.
I leaned into the conversation, kept the practices of the book in mind, and learned a LOT about how to be a better communicator. One experience does not create an expert- however, it leads to another experience and another, where ultimately we can continue practicing the skills and improve along the way.
So for today, consider checking out ‘Supercommunicators’ from your local library. You might just enjoy it, but you don’t have to take my word for it. (wink wink!)
QUESTION OF THE DAY
What’s a meaningful conversation you’ve been putting off…until now?